Christopher rolled onto his stomach, draping his arm over Ianto and nestling his face against the chimaera's shoulder. He was just starting to drift off when he felt fingers gently tracing the scars that decorated his arm. Making a soft inquisitive noise, the halfling shifted slightly so he could see his companion's face.

Ianto glanced over and kissed Christopher on the forehead, still running a finger over the network of scars. "You have so many. How did you manage to avoid any on your face?" he asked softly.

Christopher shrugged and nuzzled Ianto's neck. "I didn't. Allar didn't like them and had them removed."

"Allar?"

"My former mistress. It was a long time ago."

"Oh." The chimaera seemed to ponder this a moment, "Did you want her to remove them?"

"I didn't have a say in the matter." The halfling sighed and rolled onto his back, shifting so his arm was still in reach. "I was something of an... exotic pet during that part of my life. I worked, but that was only allowed because it was necessary." He shook his head with a heavy sigh, "It was... better than what I'd been before."

Ianto hugged him, purring softly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"Like I said, it was a long time ago." Christopher shrugged slightly and closed his eyes. "I don't mind talking about it, it just tends to upset people. And my memory isn't very good, especially when it comes to those earlier centuries."

"Centuries?"

"Uh-huh. Near as I can remember, I'm around 1100 years old. Maybe a little older. I've only been with Lord Thalos for about 600 years. I was traded around a lot before then."

Several conflicting emotions flashed across Ianto's face. He rested his cheek against Christopher's forehead, purring louder as he tried to process the information. He frowned at the deep scar that ran down the halfling's side and rested his fingers gently on the less sensitive portion that ran over Christopher's hip. The skin twitched at even this light touch. "Could she have taken this scar?"

Christopher gently took Ianto's hand in his own, lacing their fingers together. "I didn't have it then, but probably. Scars are pretty simple for most healers."

Ianto chewed his lip a moment. "Could Thorny do it?"

"Easily."

"Has she refused to?"

"No. I won't let her."

The purr faltered slightly. "Why? If it's so sensitive, why not let her help you?"

Christopher frowned and struggled to answer. "It's a reminder. Of things I shouldn't forget." He sighed as Ianto stopped purring. "I... I can't explain. Not right now. Maybe not ever. No one makes me, but I need to keep the scar." He freed his hand and used it to turn the chimaera's face towards him. "What's on your mind? You don't usually ask questions like this."

Ianto looked away and was silent for several minutes. When he finally answered, his voice was barely above a whisper. "Why did you jump?"

Christopher curled around Ianto, holding him close and murmuring against his neck, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He held the chimaera until Ianto's shaking subsided and was replaced by a soft, shaky purr. "I wasn't thinking, wasn't paying enough attention. I should have known she'd try something like that. It wasn't the first time she's tried to kill herself."

"Why did you follow her? Please, I need to know."

"There isn't an easy answer, but I'll try. You have to understand, where we come from, we're monsters."

Ianto toyed with a few strands of Christopher's hair. "You're not a monster." he mumbled.

Christopher chuckled and kissed his cheek. "I'm still getting used to that idea, honestly. For much of my life, the nicest thing I could expect to be called was 'pretty abomination'. We're only called halflings because Demons are romantics and happen to be in charge. Angels call us abominations and elves call us monsters. We're accidents, a freak occurrence that shouldn't even be."

"Stop that." Ianto chided.

Christopher straddled Ianto and prodded his chest. "Do you want me to explain or not? I was taught to be a monster, an animal, a pet, and a plaything. I'm still learning how to be a person."

Ianto caught Christopher's hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss the scarred knuckles. "You're not a monster or an animal." he said softly.

"I've had time to practice. You wouldn't have liked me back then." Christopher leaned forward and kissed Ianto, lingering for a moment before curling next to him again. "Now hush."

Ianto huffed in reply before drawing the halfling closer and nodding for him to continue.

Christopher rested his head on Ianto's chest, listening to the chimaera's deep, uneasy purr while he gathered his thoughts. "Even though they are magical by nature, very few elves are born able to actually do magic. Sure, you'll hear about the rare infant or child that is unusually lucky or seems to be able to make things happen, but they are the exceptions. Most elves come into their talents gradually, usually reaching their full potential near the end of their life. For us, the power is there from birth. Our masters are able to suppress our gifts for a time, for as long as we're small enough for the venom to be effective. We still have far too much power at our disposal when we're far too young to know how to handle it. If we don't learn to control it, and quickly, it can kill us."

Ianto's purr faltered, then grew louder. He ran his fingers through Christopher's hair, toying with the long strands, but didn't interrupt.

"It's worse for her. She wouldn't be so dangerous if she hadn't been...manipulated. Dark healers are rare, and all healers require training to use their gifts for anything other than self healing. The magic has to encounter a wound or plague before the healer can duplicate it. She must have been exposed to so much before she came to us." Christopher paused and nuzzled against Ianto's hand. "I don't think she remembers what was done to her. Not consciously. The control was absolute, and our Lord... hurt her when he broke the link to her controller. She has my memories, though, with none of the time and experience to buffer them. They aren't all bad, but... you've heard my nightmares."

Ianto squeezed his shoulder briefly before burying his fingers once more in Christopher's hair. "Do you still have them?" he asked gently.

Christopher shook his head. "No. Your gift stopped them. I don't dream much anymore, but I sleep better." He sighed and closed his eyes, suddenly wanting nothing more than to fall asleep listening to the chimaera's purr. "I try to protect her, but I'm not very good at it. I have a gift for subtle magics, but I usually need a guide for anything in the mind. I learned a few things very quickly, once I figured out what I'd done, but it takes constant attention. One of your friends has been helping me, but I still have to think about her all the time or things slip. And it's getting harder."

He sat up, turning to face Ianto. "She's changed. This place has changed her. I can't keep her out anymore, not if she wants in. And I can't predict her like I used to. She never used to be able to surprise me like that. I was focussed on her entirely, and she surprised me." Christopher looked down and closed his eyes, his hair falling forward to hide his face. "She was hurt and frightened and so very angry. I don't even remember jumping. There was pain...and then I woke up here."

Ianto reached up to stroke Christopher's cheek and was startled to find it damp. He sat up and pulled the halfling close. "If it happened again, would you follow her?"

Christopher nodded and nuzzled Ianto's shoulder. "I never meant to involve you in any of this. We've gone it alone for this long, I figured it would always be just the two of us, as long as she lived." He shuddered and wiped his eyes. "Yes, I will always follow. She doesn't have anyone else that will."

Ianto held him, purring and stroking his hair until Christopher drifted to sleep. It was some time before his own mind settled enough to join him.